Nurturing a workplace culture of belonging requires immense bravery
Growing a belonging-centred company is a test of strength that invites leaders to remove the armour that sets people apart from each other, and move into a space of authentic presence, because you can only create a sense of belonging in a space where people are their true selves. The armour’s that separate people in the workplace are ‘title’s’, income brackets, net worth, qualification, power of influence, and the psychological defences of the ego. Although we cannot remove the facts, what we can learn to do, is to step out of the ego-base and the aspects of identity built on what a person has achieved, or the version of themselves that they feel confident about projecting, and step into authenticity, which means accepting the self, sincerely. In the absence of self-acceptance, aspects of self are denied, hidden or avoided, masked by a limited version of a person, while feelings and emotions, thoughts and ideas may be supressed, and the voices of critical judgment shout out above the voices of empathy, compassion and kindness. In the absence of acceptance, we are operating with internal conflict, bringing about a more reactive way of being and often with a higher emotional charge, while living disconnected from each other. Moving towards a more connected way of being with ourselves and each other arises from acceptance of self and situation, which allows for the fostering peaceful relations in a space of openness, authenticity and empathy, and it is here where a true sense of belonging is birthed. This is because when we resolve our internal conflicts and embrace who we are, and how we are, and what we are, and where we are, and what we have, in acceptance, we diffuse the charge that triggers our defence systems to go up, where the voices of negativity, critical judgment, comparison and frustration play out, and instead, our state of being in peaceful acceptance with self, allows for an openness and authentic state of being to connect heart-to-heart with others. When authentic human connection is chosen, through the process of acceptance of self, it then becomes possible to state that: ‘I accept myself as I am’, which makes it easier and more genuine to state that ‘I accept you as you are’, which leads to: ‘I include you as you are’ and ‘I feel included’. In a space where acceptance and inclusion are created, a new sense of curiosity emerges where people begin to show that: ‘I am interested in who you are’, and ‘I want to get to know you’ and this leads to ‘I care about you, ‘I want to support your growth and development’ and ‘I value, respect and believe in you’. Our interest and curiosity for others, when cultivated in a space of authenticity and acceptance, very naturally gives birth to compassion and kindness, because these are our natural human qualities that cannot help but shine when a person chooses to open themselves. It is here, in this genuinely positive and love-centred space that a sense of true belonging is felt. Getting to self-acceptance means inviting the questions: ‘Who am I?’ ‘How am I?’ ‘How do I feel’, ‘What is my story?’ ‘How do I feel about my story?’, ‘Where am I in conflict?’ ‘Where am I in peace?’. ‘What am I hiding; where is there a feeling of shame?’ and ‘Where am I authentic acceptance?’ Once the true self can be seen, then next step is about processing any unresolved emotions that disturb the peace of the soul, and fostering a state of mind that supports self-acceptance, which is fundamentally about making the choice to love the self. With growing self-esteem and emotional healing in process, the self becomes a stronger and braver self, better able to face fear, doubt and uncertainty, and able to develop and implement the mind mastery skills that help foster new and healthier habits and behaviours that support the growth of positive living, and herald a return to the authentic self; to truth and to love. A love-centred self, accepts the self, and knows that they belong or that they don’t, and if they do not belong, it is not founded on insecurity or lack of self-love rather it is based on the fact that there are simply different value systems at play, and that they indeed belong somewhere else, and that is perfectly acceptable. Growing a belonging-centred culture is more than making people feel that they belong, or incentivising them into your values system. Growing a belonging-centred culture is about leadership from people with healthy self-esteem, authentic presence, and a clear vision and values set inviting people who align with their vision and values, to authentically connect, and grow together. If the self-esteem and level of acceptance of an individual is low, this can hinder the felt-sense of belonging, but in a space where leaders embrace people who align with their vision and values in acceptance, while fostering inclusion practices, the possibility for developing a sense of belonging grows exponentially. Copyright Antonia Behan 2024
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