Touched by an Angel

A gentle soul entered my life not so long ago. Through the days and weeks of her emerging I carried her and nurtured her and felt my love for her grow. I had dreams of my little girl; I saw her gifted to me from the angels who blessed her soul with love, and I understood that my angel would touch hearts, and that she would teach me to open my heart to greater love. I did not imagine how she would weave her magic, or that she would return to the angels so soon; a life lived only in my womb for 37 weeks, and who has touched my heart forever. ​
​
There has been felt by those close by a harmonic resonance in the meaning of her presence; to heal and to love.  My little Angel touched hearts and opened family and friends to deeper heart connection; she was able to share her spiritual gifts without setting foot in this world and this is how I know for sure she truly is an Angel.​
​
I have listened to many who have offered love and support say that ‘I have no words’ and ‘I do not know what to say’ and this is okay. Sometimes there are no words to say. This can lead to a divide, separation and isolation, because in fear of not knowing what to say or do, some shy away from tragedy and loss, when what is needed to support healing is connection, acknowledgement, acceptance and love. Others simply embrace the truth and accept the silence. Silent presence can be a powerful support. ​​
​
Death is part of life; it touches us all. I wonder how life would be if we felt more confident about how we embrace death, loss and the pain of a broken heart. I wonder if we understood it was okay to say: ‘I am sorry for your loss’ and then return to silence, or to talk about the weather, the events of the day and the next, that in doing so we demonstrate transcendence of the fear of facing pain and give recognition to the strength to address and accept reality, and that in owning our strength we empower the grieving to grow their own. 


I wish to honour the gift of my angel through dedication to loving more. This means striving to live with greater understanding, empathy and compassion, deeper acceptance, forgiveness and peace, the dedication to conscious creation of radiant happiness, joy and fulfilment, and to encourage deeply heart-felt meaning making in all who suffer tragedy, loss and the pain of grief. ​
What I am learning from this loss is that life brings beautiful blessings in ways we cannot imagine, and when we accept, no matter how much the suffering, the beauty we seek and discover gives us strength and illuminates the path ahead to a life of greater meaning, purpose and heart-centred living. ​
​
The pain and suffering does not end, that is not the goal. Pain and suffering, death and loss, tragedy and heart-break are part of our world. We can avoid and escape them, and turn to unhealthy, negative and destructive means of coping, or we can accept and embrace reality, find meaning, seek the gifts and blessings, and grow our hearts and minds to empower the evolution of love and beauty in the future. I believe this is what our world needs now: greater love, and my little Angels has fuelled me with more light to strive for this within myself and in empowering others with the growth of their strength.​
​
Some of you reading this will have known of my Angel, and watched her grow with me over recent months. Do not be afraid to speak of her, her name was Isabella-Rose. Do not be afraid to open your heart or say what you feel like saying. Do not feel the need to avoid her to protect me from my pain, because I can hold my pain and I do not need it to be taken away, because I know time will help me heal, and this is how it must be: the pain is making me stronger. ​
​
I am not alone in grief. Death touches us all. This is not written for my loss, but for our loss; past, present and future, so as to encourage the opening of hearts, the sharing of words, and the development of strength to accept reality, to give it meaning, and to inspire and empower our ongoing journey’s to greater love and connection. ​
 ​
Antonia x