Do you want Deep Success?
What I mean by ‘Deep Success’ is connecting with what success means at the level of your heart and soul. It’s about truly, deeply listening to the authentic voice within that defines your core values and inner most meaningful vision for your life, so that you can realise this.Deep success will mean something different for everyone; it is not limited to the ideals of our society and general upbringing: to do well in education, with financial security and abundance, to attain prestige, fame or power over people. Deep success is aligned with the beauty of heart, which means the success you attain gives you feelings of peace, strength, freedom, happiness, fulfilment, meaningful purpose, true power, positivity, joy and vitality.
When I ask you if you want deep success, I am inviting you to re-connect with your authentic self; your core heart-centred truth about who you are, how you want to be, what you want to create, do and have, and the influence and the energy your heart wants to offer in your world, and to give your focus and energy to honouring this; when you choose to pursue deep success, you choose to honour your heart.
Honouring your heart takes strength. A person who lives in alignment with their heart is fundamentally strong because they say: ‘I love and believe in myself and my truth’. At first, they may say this with just a glimmer of a flicker of flame of faith before the realisation of the goal or dream or way of being is realised. However, the outcome is a mere reflection of the real power within that is born in the very moment that you make the choice to honour your heart and put your love into action. You have this power already.
‘The Empowered Woman’s Circle’ is a place for you to explore, define, choose and create your deeper success. What I bring to this space for you is my authenticity, experience and qualification.
It was in my late teens that I said to myself, ‘First, I will find happiness, and then I will create financial success’. The reason I said this to myself was because, having been brought up in a very privileged lifestyle, surrounded by miserable millionaires, and while battling my own depression, it became so much more important to me to be happy than to be rich. I did not dismiss the importance of money; I value financial security, I love beautiful living spaces and gardens, fine silk, Michelin star dining, and time to create what brings me joy, and to give to others and my community in a way that fosters heart-felt connection; the gifts financial abundance can offer. But I didn’t want to be caught in the illusion that money would give me happiness; I wanted to be happy first, because then I knew I would be free.
The darkest times in a state of depression became some of the most gifted moments in my life, forcing me to connect with what mattered most; to seek deep and important meaningful purpose and the path to peace and happiness. I do not believe everyone needs to be lost in the dark to find their light; thirty years ago, there was no one to hold the space to guide me to connect with my heart-centred values, to teach me how to stand strong in the face of fear and adversity, or how to manage overwhelming emotions while I stumbled through my life.
Finding my light developed as I learnt what it means to truly love; to live in alignment with love-based values: acceptance, authenticity, care, compassion, empathy, freedom, faith, kindness, joy, peace, respect and trust. Living from love did not happen overnight, it was slow to emerge, and shall continue to grow, for love and her pure expression have no limitations.
So far, some of the most significant realisations of being true to heart have been:
In my late twenties, I followed my dream to live in the sunshine, leaving England to move to the south of Spain and start a new life, by myself. I believed the sunny climate and outdoor living would lift my mood and this was essential; my well-being was the priority because until I had this, I would not be able to authentically live my truth or take my next step, everything else came second. To honour my heart meant choosing to be brave in honouring my truth in the face of so many fears that presented at that time. The outcome was finding a happier life in the sunshine and so many positives that grew from this
In my thirties, in order honour my meaningful purpose; to truly empower adults and teenagers to live their truth and create deep success, while continuing to work, I returned to university for six years to gain a masters degree in psychology and mental health, while also completing further training in transformational coaching, because I found the practice more empowering than traditional therapies. To honour my heart meant giving so much of my time to learning and growth, while bravely trusting that it was not too late to create my dreams, at my age, and that combining mental health knowledge and coaching practice would work as an effective and empowering practice for healing, growth and transformation, and challenging many other fears that presented at that time. The outcome has been the honour of working with many people from multicultural backgrounds to support healing, growth and transformation, and finding a depth of meaning in my work that revealed itself beautifully in later years; indeed the depth of meaning continues to reveal her wonder.
Living my true-heart truth meant walking away from a man I was deeply in love with, but not happy with, to pursue true love and happiness. To honour my heart meant finding a huge amount of bravery to overcome the fears that presented at that time. The outcome was the gift of discovering true love.
In my forties, to honour my very deep truth, and in fact the only truth my heart truly wanted; to become a mother and share my love with my child. I decided to do this alone. After I lost my first baby, stillborn at 37 weeks, being true to heart helped me find the strength to go on and have two more babies, and with this my feelings of true love and happiness grew.
I can honestly say choosing to honour my heart and soul gives me strength, which builds my confidence to keep creating with love, knowing the rewards this offers, even amidst painful tragedy. To be deeply successful, is not to be free of suffering, tragedy, pain or fear, it is to embrace them in love, which gives us strength, while confidently creating and living with greater peace, freedom, happiness, joy and deep fulfilment.
The Empowered Woman’s circle invites you to grow you power and supports you in your brave determination. It is not for me to guide your process, rather, because of my journey and professional skill, to hold a space for you to awaken your deeper truth and to encourage the realisation of your heart's truth in your own unique way.
Join the Empowered Woman’s circle in person (Sotogrande) or online, and be supported in growing your power to create and be as your heart truly desires. Our next group begins in May with twelve people per group.
Or, are you in conflict debt?
To be in conflict debt is a high cost to any organisation because it means important decisions and actions are not taken, there is division throughout the company, and a toxic work environment is experienced by all.
Conflict is often perceived as a negative, with ideas of people shouting at each other, but this is just one example of conflict, and with unregulated people. Conflict, essentially, is about meeting each other with our differences, and summarised well in the Merriam Webster dictionary:
‘The struggle resulting from incompatible or opposing needs, drives, wishes or external or internal demands’ Meriam Webster
Common conflicts are when the organisation is faced with more than one priority, when a gap within the organisation or risk to the organisation is recognised but not discussed, and with giving feedback that people do not want to hear.
Many people feel afraid to raise these concerns because they prefer to avoid the challenge of conflict, because it feels uncomfortable or due to personal and common fears, such as rejection, dismissal, strong emotion or not being liked. However, the consequence of avoiding conflict is to amount conflict debt, and this is far worse. When people avoid conflict, it is redirected to become an internal battle that breeds only suffering for people, while embedding conflict debt into daily life.
What does conflict debt look like?
How do you resolve conflict debt and get better at conflict?
The answer, is to learn how to speak your truth while owning your power. I shall be writing about this in my next post.
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