Antonia Behan - Work. Life. Balance. Work. Life. Balance.

The pursuit of happiness is something we all strive for, but surprisingly many of us fail to make time to think about what this really means:

Q: What will make me truly happy and what do I need to do to attain it?

If you are not happy, and are not actively pursuing happiness, it may be because you don’t truly believe that you can be happy?

One of the main qualities in being happy is having self-esteem: if we believe that we can attain the things that matter, and we believe that we can attract into our lives the people and opportunities that makes us feel better, this state of mind will naturally enable these exact things to happen. If however we don’t have this self-belief, then the first thing to do is to build it.

Three steps towards believing in and attaining happiness:

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Our values and beliefs vary depending on culture, belief and current situation; what matters the most you now, may be very different to what matters the most to another. While you may value your career more than your partner, because your career fulfils your priorities; to survive, be independent and financially successful, your partner may value your relationship more, because the aspects of love that found the relationship, such as companionship, affection, to love and be loved, are his current values. While you may give all your time to striving for your personal best in your career, your friend may choose to put their focus on building friendships, because the sense of attainment that matters most to you is not as important to them as companionship and connection with people. Neither value is right or wrong, or of more or less importance, they are simply in a different order of priority.

The most important thing, is to know what is the most important thing to you now, because this is ultimately what brings personal fulfilment and life satisfaction.

Discover what matters most to you now… Continue reading »

It is so easy to become prey to the ideals and beliefs of our community to a point where we actually believe we want something just because everyone else wants or has it. If we become entrapped by such ideals, we shall surely drift away from what really matters and find ourselves wandering in realms of unhappiness and disappointment.

Of course we all expect things to be a certain way, but this idealism does not bring happiness, indeed it may only prolong the agony of desire. End the pain right now by turning your mind to what, in your heart, you truly want, and on what you would design for your life if not tempted to flock towards the dreams and ideals of others.

To create your life, the way you really want to live it, ask yourself this:

Q: What really matters to me more than anything else?

Now ask yourself:

Q: Why do these things matater to me more than anything else?

If you find yourself far removed from what really matters to you, then right now take action towards bringing more of these values into your daily life.

If a sense of balance is of priority, then do something to create balance.

If financial independence matters more, do something right now that will take you towards this,

If you desire more time with those that you love, then put that time in your diary right now and commit to it.

If you seek a sense of adventure, do something adventurous right now, even if it just making a booking to do something.

If you seek happiness, do something that brings you that feeling right now, it may mean thinking a happy thought or smiling because you know you are starting to improve your life from this day on.

If you want to change the life you are living, change begins now. If not now, then when?

Q: What is the most important thing for your now?

Q: What needs to happen to bring more of this into your life, starting now?

Credits: photograph courtesy James Jordan

Our experience of the world is dependent on how we see things - individuals standing in the same spot could each view the world through completely different eyes.  If we do not like the world we see, the first thing to change may not be our world, but how we choose to see our world, because things are not as they appear.

These factors create the tunnels of our perception, which lead us to perceive the world from conditioned states of mind:

• Social Conditioning.
• Parental Upbringing.
• Our Peers.
• Education.
• Religion.
• The Media.
• Cultural Background.

Sometimes, we are led to only look at the negative things in life, or we develop an overly positive viewpoint to protect ourselves from a harsh reality. We may, over time, view the world based on the way things have always been, and judge anything new as negative or wrong.  Sometimes, we make judgement based only our personal views, which are often based on how we are thinking or feeling at the time, but this only creates clouded perceptions of the truth. There are times when we look at an image or situation and, dependent on our viewpoint in the moment, we may see the same vista today through grey lenses that we view tomorrow with radiant golden light.

Is your way of perceiving working for you? Consider these questions: Continue reading »

Life is full of challenges. Sometimes, the challenge may ask that we take a leap of faith, face our fear and dive into uncharted waters not knowing where the currents may lead us. We prepare to summon this courage and make the brave dive, but at the same time, we fear that the currents will consume us. And so we remain on the shore, watching life as a passive observer, feeling safe, or perhaps unsafe, but just too scared to change.

However, when we dare to dive in something stirs within, a new light of strength born of the knowlegde that now we have the courage to walk from unwanted situations into the great unknown. We have the courage to try and survive.

In time, the scene does change, because this is the nature of life, constant motion, life only stays the same if you stand firm with your shackles, if you don’t change with the tide. When we take brave leaps, we move forward and we grow. The scene may not change at first, but we change, because now we know we can remove ourselves from unwanted situtions, even if we are afraid.

There are times when the challenge is, or appears to be, too great to bare and fear makes dark shadows in the soul, a sensation often experienced when a heart is broken, a loved one lost, a business drowns in a collapsing economy, or a land and people are totally wiped out by a tsunami leaving stranded souls alone, lives torn apart.

When all seems lost and we fear being alone, abandoned or penniless, how is the strength to survive summoned?

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