Antonia Behan - Work. Life. Balance. Work. Life. Balance.

Our experience of the world is dependent on how we see things - individuals standing in the same spot could each see the world through completely different lenses.

Consider these questions:

• Do you judge yourself on how you look or how you feel?
• Do you look back at what has been, or forward to what could be?
• Do you see a limiting situation as a restriction, or an opportunity to spark new creation?
• Do you allow anger to drain you, or do you turn it into passion to drive you forward?
• Do you see the recession as a time of negativity, or a time of opportunity?
• Is death the end, or a birth of the new?
• Do you see suffering as a negative experience, or a lesson from which to learn and grow?

If we want to change our experience of the world, sometimes the most important thing to change is how we see the world, because things may not always be as they at first appear.

These factors create the tunnels of our perception, which lead us to perceive the world from conditioned states of mind:

• Social Conditioning.
• Parental Upbringing.
• Our Peers.
• Education.
• Religion.
• The Media.
• Cultural Background.

Sometimes we are led to only look at the negative things in life, or we develop an overly positive viewpoint to protect ourselves from a harsh truth. We may, over time, view the world based on the way things have always been and judge anything new as negative or wrong.  Sometimes we make judgement based only our personal views, which are often based on how we are thinking or feeling at the time, but this only creates clouded perceptions of the truth. Then there are times when we look at an image or situation and dependent on our viewpoint in the moment, we may see one image or another.

Is your way of perceiving working for you? Try this exercise… Continue reading »

If the answer is yes, then, when dreaming of a new career, business objective or personal goal, you probably have a quiet voice in the back of your mind whispering: ‘I don’t know how to do this?’ ‘I can’t!’ ‘I won’t make it!’ or, ‘I will fail!’

We all have dreams and goals to which we aspire. The difference between those on the path to success and those that maintain the status quo is a willingness to meet failure along the way. The question is: why do some people become completely paralysed by their fear of failure, while others move forward?

Many of our fears and phobias are rooted in early childhood experiences; perhaps a minor failure was made into a drama by an over reactive parent, teacher or our peers and it made us feel embarrassed, rejected, or vulnerable. We fear failure because, at some level, we associate it with suffering.

Those that become paralysed by fear of failure and the suffering it could bring, do so because they do not believe in their innate strength to survive life, perhaps because of overwhelming suffering in the past that they fear revisiting, or because there has been little suffering and so no validation for managing it. Lack of self-belief feeds fear.

How do we overcome our fear of failure? Continue reading »

Life is full of challenges, sometimes the challenge may ask that you take a leap of faith, face your fear and dive into uncharted waters not knowing where the currents may lead you, you summon this courage and make the brave dive but the scene does not change, at least not to begin with, but something stirs within you, a new light of strength that makes you feel that no matter what trials the rivers of life bring your way, you will survive because now you know that your courage outshines your fear. In time, the scene does change, because this is the nature of life, constant motion, life only stays the same if you stand firm, if you don’t change with the tide. When we take brave leaps we move forward and we grow.

However, there are times when the challenge is, or appears to be, too great to bare and fear makes dark shadows in the soul, a sensation often experienced when a heart is broken, a loved one lost, a business drowns in a collapsing economy, or a land and people are totally wiped out by a tsunami leaving stranded souls alone, lives torn apart. When all seems lost and we fear we shall be alone, abandoned and penniless, how is the strength to survive summoned, because this really is only way forward; when faced with a personal crisis, heart break, fear or an intense trial we have just one choice, either we sink or we swim.

How do we find the strength to swim when we feel weak? Continue reading »

At the dawn of the New Year many of us set new goals and intentions only to find that before March has come into bloom most have become historic ideals, long forgotten. There are many reasons for why we give up on our dreams, what I would like to focus on are the qualities that ensure we do achieve them:

Clear Vision - The most important part of realising a dream is being able to view it with such clarity that it seems as if it is a movie playing in your minds eye. Practising this visualization helps to keep you focused on the end goal.

Passion - Ask yourself why you want to achieve this goal? List 20 reasons and place them in order of priority, this helps you recognise why your dream is important and what it will give you, thus boosting motivation and commitment to the goal.

Faith - Over the years we unconsciously programme our minds with beliefs about who we are and what we are capable of achieving; we may think we can double our income, but our subconscious programming may hold a strong belief about lack of self worth or failure; we may think we can make more time for the things that matter, but a silent inner voice preaches sermons on guilt.

It is important to make sure that we really do believe in what we are pursuing and if not to address this and change unsupportive beliefs into supportive beliefs to support our goal. Recognising and transforming negative and often subconscious beliefs and then changing them can be done with honest self-analysis or by working with a talented life coach or psychotherapist.

Courage – Once your intention is clear and your beliefs support your vision, only one thing remains, to gather courage. One the road to our dreams the greatest obstacle is fear, some fears we recognise but others reside deep in the subconscious, creating invisible roadblocks. It is possible to recognise these fears in the same way as you bring to light subconscious beliefs.  Once seen, the fears can be addressed and the only way to really address them is with courage; the courage to dive into the fear, step around it, or use fear as fuel to drive your life forward.

Gathering courage is done when you make the decision to be someone who fights for what matters and someone chooses how to live in the world and how to respond to the world, rather than being a victim of circumstance. When the decision to become a warrior is made, the sheer force of will and courage naturally grow from within because you already have courage within, you just need the correct mindset to bring it to life.

The differences between those who achieve their dreams and goals and those who give up is found in four qualities; vision, faith, passion and courage. If you have these qualities you shall succeed, if you do not, you can develop them. Everyone has the potential to realise their dream. What’s your dream?

Self development coaching enables you to identify your dreams and goals making them realistic and achievable while working with your belief system to transform unsupportive and subconscious beliefs into new beliefs that support you in developing the courage and confidence to realise your desired outcome.

For a free consultation please visit: www.divineliving.eu

Consultations take place in Sotogrande or Via telephone.

Photograph courtesy SG photostream

You may hear yourself saying, ‘I’m turning into my mother’, or you may recognise that you are playing out a similar scenario with your partner as your parents did with each other? What you may not realise is that you have become a subject of your subconscious programming; those behavioural patterns executed since birth that have become deeply ingrained in your instinctual reactions to life; you think you are choosing how to live, but in reality you are reacting to your past.

For as long as you remain oblivious to your conditioning, you shall continue to be a victim to it by either repeating the very same patterns as your parents played out, reacting to those behaviours, or by rebelling against them. This way of living holds you back from living the life you truly want as the person you really are. However, there is a way to break the pattern, to liberate yourself from your conditioning and it is not through rebellion, because if our children rebel against us, they will find themselves repeating the patterns of their grandparents, the way to break free from conditioning is to recognise the patterns and to choose to change them. Recognising the patterns begins to happen when you ask yourself these questions:

Continue reading »