Acceptance is a coaching and therapy process that when integrated facilitates healing, growth, and transformation. This may be getting to acceptance of what has been lost, acceptance of what happened and that was out of our control, acceptance of things that cannot be controlled, acceptance of those consequences of what happened that we live with today, acceptance of the way other people behave, the way things are, and the limitations of our possibility and potential. When we move into acceptance, we move past anger, resentment, and frustration, we end the suppression of feelings and emotions that we did not want to face, or the outward projection of those energies onto others, we let go of the past and sometimes of people, and we are enabled to move into the present and into ourselves, we become more grounded in our lives and more at peace with each other; in essence, a negative emotional charge is dissolved.
From a place of acceptance, the baggage of the past is released into history, healing is enabled, dramas are put to rest, and space and energy is formed to give light to new possibilities and potential; a person can learn to move on with their lives, become healthier and happier, and learn to thrive again.
What can acceptance coaching bring to a corporate environment?
Acceptance of what is possible: People have different expectations on performance outcomes. Sometimes the expectations are fair and realistic, sometimes they are unrealistic, and sometimes they do not challenge someone enough. As a consequence, there can be feelings of frustration and stress when people do not perform as expected, or when potential is not recognised, and people are not challenged enough. When nothing changes, this frustration and stress can foster and the working environment becomes toxic and inefficient.
When acceptance is brought into the coaching conversation, space is created to either facilitate a person in coming to acceptance of the state of expectations, so that they can then make a conscious choice to stay in the same position or to move on, for a manager to keep someone where they are because of other strengths, or move them to a more suitable position, or to integrate reality checks when setting expectations. In this way, people move on from feelings of powerlessness, restriction, limitation, frustration or helplessness and into a place of empowerment where open and honest communication occurs and conscious choices are made.
Once a person attains acceptance, they become less stressed and less likely to project their frustrations into the working environment. A person who accepts the limitations of their time and ability, can then set healthy boundaries on what they can and cannot do, assert what they can and cannot do, ask for updates on priorities and strive to improve efficiency on what matters most, instead of trying to be perfect and get everything done. This allows those in leadership and management roles to gain a clearer understanding of what can be expected, where progress is at, and how to effectively strategy plan to achieve the company objectives, key initiatives and results. Acceptance facilitates open communication, improved overall efficiency, less stress, positive work spaces, and helps prevent the burnout of your key and most valued people.
Let me be clear, acceptance is by no means about settling for something that is a poor standard, toxic or health risk and maintaining it as such, acceptance is about recognising that this issue, is what it is, and then identifying what can and cannot be done about the issue, releasing the emotional charge, and from a place of acceptance, with the conflict and negativity dissolved, allowing for the emergence of new ideas, possibilities, and solutions that benefit the person or the company. Acceptance is sometimes a necessary step for moving forward.
Acceptance of challenging personalities: When working with a colleague with a narcissistic, histrionic or obsessive-compulsive personality, there is feeling of a general lack of care and interest in the well-being of others, and instead a focus on what the individual wants to happen, control or attain, and there is a high level of emotional drama. To those working with challenging personalities, when acceptance of how people are is integrated, instead of wanting the person to change, or planning an exit strategy, people can move through fear or avoidance of that person, manage feelings of frustration, and learn how to prevent themselves from becoming entangled in emotional dramas, or being bullied. Awareness of the personality disorder is the first step, acceptance that we cannot change people, unless they choose to change, is the second step, and from acceptance of what is, and how people are, space is created to address management tactics; how to manage a challenging personality. When people understand this, they become empowered, stronger, less stressed, more productive, more focused, and they feel happier.
Acceptance of financial remuneration: It is fair to say that most people want to earn more money and that to do so will require upskilling, improving performance, owning greater autonomy, risk-taking, becoming stronger in the leadership and management of self or others, improving communication, activating assertiveness and often, communicating with compassion. In essence, it requires a change or growth of self, and this is usually a pain point that many do not want to embrace, and so they remain in frustration. However, once acceptance of areas of growth are identified, and acceptance of the investment required to make the changes is embraced, the inner frustration, resentment, negativity, or sense of entitlement, makes way for pro-active changes that benefit many.
Acceptance of resources: There is always space for more resources to make life easier, and often not enough people, time, money, high-level performers, expertise, or experience where it is needed. Acceptance of this reality moves the focus from frustration and into a solutions-focused mindset; what can we do with what we have, what is possible, how do I streamline better, prioritise more, get better at letting things go, delegating, and saying ‘no’!
Acceptance of risk: It requires bravery to step up, leap forward, and even more to lead others in a new and often unknown direction. Along the way, you may encounter failure, fear, loss, criticism, judgment, and new levels of pressure. When the risk is accepted, which means identifying and accepting the possible consequences; the great and the small, the positive and the negative, the outstanding success or the incredible failure, emotional freedom is created, setting a person free to soar.
Acceptance of cultural adaption: From staying in the same known steady and secure space to operating in a fast past place of constant change and motion, companies operate within their own cultural styles. Sometimes maintaining the status quo works, and new members adapt and integrate, and sometimes changes are required. Integrating new values, aligning the team with a greater vision and strategy, or improving gender equality, well-being, or mental health awareness, may now be on your horizon or knocking at your door. There will be resistance, however, when people are facilitated in accepting a new way of being with each other, then conflict, hesitation, frustration, anxiety, and feelings of uncertainty or insecurity make way for new understanding, compassion, solutions-focused thinking, excitement, and position action towards integrating and aligning with the new way.
Are you interested to learn more? Please get in touch: firstname.lastname@example.org
Antonia Behan is a coaching psychologist (BSc, MSc, MBPsS, MICF PCC) working with whole teams within Gibraltar-based companies, and online with global senior leaders.
Antonia is passionate about facilitating the integration of a culture of mental health and well-being, including improved communication, stress and anxiety management, and growing your people. I want you to attain your greatest business possibility with healthy and happy people.
Antonia Behan BSc MSc MBPsS MICF PCC
Corporate psychological well-being and performance development coaching
Adult and adolescent psychological wellbeing coaching and trauma therapy
Family coaching for harmony
Workshops and courses